On failing and winning

April - everything is a process

Hola, dear reader,

April comes to an end and it is time to collect the thoughts and ideas.

I quite love this monthly reflection type of writing.

This month was quite hard on me to be honest. It was again a weird mix of failure and winning.

I failed at both daily sketching and weekly uploading.

But I did so much of digital painting, I have never done that many hours. And I also finally conquered my Northern Saga - a series of travel vlogs from my travel north in the summer of 2024. Also I am on time with my dispatch to you.

So was there failure? Oh yes, baby, but do I feel accomplished? Hell yes.

Let me spill some details.

Daily sketching

In March dispatch I told you how I got the tempo of this daily sketching by setting the simplest goal and also by committing with a friend. For the whole March and for a good part of April it did work. I finished a sketchbook! With black ballpoint pen sketches only. And there will be a tour video. And also I want to add some blotches of watercolor there. Most probably I will film it too.

April brought us Semana Santa (Easter week) which means holiday at school, a lot of local fiesta activities, and also we were visited by my in-laws, who managed to get a visa and come. I saw them in August of 2024, and won’t see them probably until some time in 2026, so spending time with them was a priority. Days were so full, that daily sketching sometimes just slipped away. By the evening I was in bed absolutely exhausted and then thinking - but I did not do a sketch!

My first impulse was to shame myself, classic. But then I thought that actually this week of Semana Santa was a week of very intense inspiration gathering. I made a ton of photos, we had so many talks, I finally witnessed Semana Santa procession, I spoke a crazy mix of Russian, English and Spanish non-stop. So I refuse to actually call that a failure.

I also remind myself that when my kiddo is at home, I don’t have a luxury of concentration. Do I want to neglect my child over a sketch? Please, no. Is it frustrating? It is.

Digital painting

Meanwhile digital painting course that I am taking is getting more and more intense. And I really spend a lot of time painting. A lot of it is not that good yet, yes, a lot of non finished pieces, a lot of studies, but I see how my skill slowly is being born.

I even did my first extracurricular fan art from one of Critical Role recent shows. I genuinely enjoy the process and soak it the feedback. Here are some examples, I will keep you updated. Painting in Procreate at my iPad is wonderful, but seeing the possibilities of good old photoshop makes me dream of getting a screen tablet. The course is 5 months long, I hope I will finish it and then as a celebration I will buy myself a tablet. So if you would love to support an artist on the way towards her dream here is a donation box where I am saving up for this purchase.

There is still a ton to learn, but I see how I progress and I am fascinated.

I went AWOL on YouTube

I left quite a short notice of this silent vlog of going to Joan Miro museum in Barcelona. I did not feel like doing a proper video essay on Miro work, but I still wanted to show you this museum. I was lucky to visit it with my friend, fellow Russian rebel heart, who lives in the US for ages now. She filmed me, and I filmed her and this video is also a chance to see more of me in the picture.

And of course here comes a jewel in the crown, a Northern Saga vlog, that took me ages to finish. Initially our travel was almost 3 weeks longs and I had almost 3 hours of raw footage. And I had to stitch some watchable storytelling out of it. In the end, I decided to divide it into 3 videos. The first one is up now and it is the longest. It is about being on the road and doing 2000 km one way.

I hope that another two won’t tale me so long. I am extremely aware that this video might feel controversial in the light of what happens in the world. But I just had to tell my personal story, to show you more of my identity, so you may understand more of why I love certain things and how I function. Certain things had to be left out, because danger of speaking out is just so real. So maybe you will find it bland. But anyways, I urge you to go watch it and for the first time I will ask you to leave me supportive comments.

As for youtube plans, I hope to be back to weekly schedule in May. The plan is to publish second and third part of the Northern Saga, sketchbook tour, and one more video. It might me a painting process, or lettering process, or local little vlog. I filmed “a week in an artist life” video, but it will take some time to edit. So most probably I will upload it in June.

And in the end let me tease you a bit, that I think that in the next dispatch you will hear from me something unusual. I am close to getting one of my secret projects out of the closet and showing it to the world. So wish me luck, as I need to double my effort to work on it in May to make it presentable.

Had a chance to visit Girona and its magnificent Cathedral while our family visited

What did I find curious last month?

• I finished the Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, it took me so long, because each chapter felt like a punch in a face and I was worried sick for the character. I cannot stop marveling on how alive and human Leigh’s characters are. I will read the Crooked Kingdom of course, but I need some room to breath and let my heart slow a bit. And I suspect a trouble for my fav couple in the book, because your girl here is a basic bitch and Matthias and Nina are my honeybuns forever.

• I got a gift from my mother in law and it was a book by Florian Illies, 1913: The Year Before the Storm. It is author’s take on the year of 1913, the last year before the First World War broke out. Florian takes historical information about prominent figures of the century and puts them together but also apart in a patchwork of chronicle. He tries to see how the world was before the storm. Fun fact I learnt from the book is that a man who killed Leon Trotsky was born in Barcelona and was half Catalan, half Cuban.

• New Susan Collins book from the Hunger Games world was published recently. I loved the movies and original trilogy, but somehow did not come back to it for ages. And mistakingly so I was sure that 2 prequel books are commercially tailored fillers. To my surprise both are quite plump tomes that have a lot to think. I watched review from Leoni on the new book and apparently she had one for President Snow one (both book and movie), and I fell in love with it. Now I have to read it. I did not know that the author weaved ideas of Thomas Hobbes, John Locke, and David Hume into the plot and into characters beliefs. It makes the books more interesting then just YA fiction.

• My fav song by Patti Smith - April Fool

  We'll ride like writers ride
  Neither rich nor broke
  We'll race through alleyways
  In our tattered cloaks so
  
  Come be my April fool
  Come we'll break all the rules

See you in May, dear!

V.

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